Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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