hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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