Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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