oh god the rape fog is back!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
