she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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