I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
