Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
