Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
