You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
