we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
