We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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