my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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