Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
