i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
