Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
