we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
