I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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