idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
did i just pee glitter
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
