never play flip cup with pint glasses
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
its liver damage thursday
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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