The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize