but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
