where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
