The maid of honor just puked.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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