I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
