I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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