So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
