But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
