There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize