Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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