I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
wow bdsm is so cute
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
