A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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