There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
