So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
