how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
