The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
