If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
