i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
