i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
