pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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