That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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