just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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