"it" just moved
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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