So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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