Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
