watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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