DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
