I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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