You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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