feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i believe in u and ur pee
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize