Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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