TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
