Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
