My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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