420 ftw
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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