the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
