Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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