There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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