first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
