we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
