What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
